The First Post

Soooo I have decided to try to start a blog dedicated to my fertility struggles. I am hoping that it will give me an outlet while also giving me the opportunity to meet other women going through the same thing. I am blessed to have a very supportive group of friends and family, but as anyone who has struggled with IF can tell you, unless you have gone through it you really cannot begin to understand the rollercoaster that we are on.

Here is my story....I got off birth control April of 2007 and actually tried NOT to get pregnant for a couple of months (this seems really funny to me now). At the time though I wasn't aware that I didn't ovulate until later in my cycle (normally around CD20). So if I was as fertile as say...oh every close friend I know then I would have likely gotten pregnant as we were having sex around that time. Starting in Novemeber we got serious about it and started charting, using OPKs, the works. I found that I ovulate later and was always getting an LH surge as well as a nice temperature spike. So I know that I am ovulating and I figure I am just taking a little longer than normal but I will be pregnant in no time.

Fast forward to May of 2008 and still nothing. I go to my obgyn and she decides to send us for the initial test. They call me and say that my bloodwork shows that I ovulated (I later found out my CD21 progesterone level was a 7.62 which isn't as high as alot of dr.'s think it should be). My husbands sperm analysis came back normal and so did my HSG (which by the way hurt like a bitch in my opinion.) I started clomid this month and am currenlty on CD 28. My cycles are normally 30-32 days so I won't know the outcome of this cycle for a couple more days. I had my blood taken on CD21 (but this was only 3DPO actually because I ovulated on day 18) and my progesterone level was 47!!! WooHoo!!! I have my first appointment with an R.E. scheduled for next Thursday so if I'm not pregnant this cycle at least I will be progressing forward. I haven't been monitered at all during this first round so I am hoping that at least next month I will know more.

Let me just say I know that I am in the very beginning of this process. I know that many couples have been trying alot longer than I have. Sometimes I fell bad when I get upset knowing that so many have gone through so much worse. It still hurts every month that we are dissappointed and sometimes I just lose all faith that we will get pregnant..ever.In this process it seems that all my close girlfriends have gotten pregnant. Three of my close girlfriends got pregnant on their first try. THE FIRST MONTH....it seems so hard to get pregnant and yet they just decide to "try" and Bang their pregnant. One of those close friends lost the baby at 12 weeks and I must say I would rather be in my shoes than hers. I feel awful for her and I cannot imagine what she is going through. I do have great friends and they all mean well but sometimes it just hurts to see them have what I want so badly. I am trying desperatly to keep up hope that this will happen for us soon. Maybe this month is finally it who knows???? And if not, well we will go from there.